Jingle Bells: A comedic rant about Christmas carols in October

Noteworthy

20 October 2023 by WTF Notebooks

Well, well, well, look who decided to show up early this year. No, it's not Santa, it's those damn Christmas carols!

It's October, people! We still have two whole months before we should even think about decking the halls.

But no, here we are, walking into a store and being bombarded with "Jingle Bells" like it's some kind of festive assault. And don't even get me started on Mariah Carey's annual awakening. I swear that woman's voice could wake up the dead and make them dance to "Feliz Navidad."

I mean, seriously, what's with the rush? It's like the second the first leaf falls from a tree, we're suddenly supposed to be in the Christmas spirit. It's like the music industry is trying to shove the holiday down our throats faster than Santa downs a glass of milk and cookies.

Almost like clockwork, radio stations seem to run out of songs to play every October, so they just keep looping the same ten Christmas hits until our ears bleed. What's next, a "12 Days of Christmas" countdown starting in July?

Now don't get me wrong, I love the holiday season just as much as the next person, but I draw the line at hearing "Last Christmas" before I've even had a chance to carve my damn pumpkin.

It's like we're being subjected to a relentless barrage of songs that were designed to get stuck in our heads! Every time you turn around, there's another holiday tune playing on the radio or in the store.

We get it though... For some, the Christmas season is more than just a holiday; it's a way of life that they can't seem to let go of for the other ten months of the year. But what's the point of having a holiday centered around feasting if we're already fed up with Christmas music by the time it arrives?

So, in the name of everything that is sacred, can we please just keep "Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in the vault until their season rolls around?

Thank you, and happy holidays... in two months’ time!