Garfield-vibes: A comedic rant about Mondays

Noteworthy

18 August 2023 by WTF Notebooks

Ah, Mondays. They're like a fart in an elevator – everyone wants to get away from it as quickly as possible.

If Monday was a person, it would be that annoying co-worker who always interrupts your coffee break to talk about their cats or their latest CrossFit routine. Or like a bully who takes your lunch money and then kicks you in the shins just for fun. Monday is the human embodiment of a hangover that just won't go away.

Garfield was right, what's there to like about Monday?

You wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck, stumble to the kitchen to make your coffee – I swear, Mondays are the reason why coffee was invented – only to find out you’re out of coffee filters. And if you’re anything like me, that’s when the swearing starts.

Mondays are the worst day of the week, and it’s not just because it marks the start of the workweek. It’s like the universe has decided to punish us for enjoying our weekends. It’s the only day of the week where I question whether or not I should just call in sick and spend the day in bed binge-watching Netflix. But then I remember that I have bills to pay, and unfortunately, Netflix doesn’t accept monopoly money.

And when you finally make it to work, Mondays make your office feel like the place where dreams go to die. It’s usually the day where everything that could go wrong, does go wrong. Your computer crashes, the printer is broken, and your boss calls everyone into an all-staff meeting that could have been an email. You know the one I'm talking about – the one where you have to pretend like you're excited to be there while secretly wishing you were somewhere else, anywhere else, like getting a colonoscopy or watching paint dry.

But you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine. So let's all take a moment to laugh at Monday's expense. Because Mondays are like a bad joke that nobody wants to hear.

So, to all the Mondays out there, I say this: You’re the reason why we need an extra day off every week, and if it were up to me, you’d be banned from the calendar altogether.