Reply all: A comedic rant about email etiquette

Noteworthy

21 April 2023 by WTF Notebooks

So you’re stuck in a group project with your colleagues and one of them has the audacity to shoot out an email that gets sent to all members of the team.

And so it begins:

Someone hits the "reply all" button. And then, someone else hits the "reply all" button. And then, someone else hits the "reply all" button. And before you know it, your inbox is filled with a bunch of useless emails that have nothing to do with you, like an endless stream of diarrhea.

It's like these people have no sense of email etiquette. Do they not realize that hitting "reply all" is the digital equivalent of screaming in a crowded room, like a bunch of crazed hyenas?

And let's talk about the content of these emails for a second. Half the time, it's just people replying with "thanks" or "got it." Like, do you really need to clutter up everyone's inbox with your useless response? We get it, you're alive.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the people who hit "reply all" to ask a question that's only relevant to one person, as if it was a chat room where everyone needs to be involved. That also means you can stop breathing.

Let's talk about the people who hit "reply all" to make a joke or share a meme. It's like they're trying to be the office clown, but instead, they're just annoying everyone with their terrible sense of humor. No, we don't want to see your cat dressed as a pirate, Susan.

And what about those people who hit "reply all" to complain about something? It's like they're trying to start a revolution or something. Just because you don't like the coffee in the break room doesn't mean everyone needs to hear about it. Take a chill pill, Karen.

Finally, there are always those co-workers who hit "reply all" to show off their knowledge or expertise to everyone. It's like they're trying to prove that they're the smartest person in the room, but instead, they're just making everyone else feel dumb. Newsflash, Stephen Hawking, we don't need your damn thesis on quantum mechanics.

In conclusion, if you're someone who hits "reply all" on a work email, please, for the love of all that is holy, stop. You're not impressing anyone, and you're just cluttering up everyone's inbox with useless emails. And if you can't resist the urge to hit "reply all," at least have something useful to say. Because no one wants to hear about your dog's new shampoo brand.